I ran across an article the other day, “date with intention.” Honestly, I didn’t read it. I did skim it. But, I have read lots of articles like this before. And, yes, it’s great. If that is what you want and that’s what makes you happy. But I want you to take the time to think, is it really making me happy?
Whether you are in you 20s, 30s, 50s, or 70s, in my opinion, it is so ridiculous to date anyone that isn’t making you happy in that moment. Is the person that is making you happy in your 20s going to make you happy in your 60s? I have not idea, and let’s be honest..you have no idea either. If you think you do, then you are probably delusional which is only going to hurt you in the long run. The whole point of marriage and commitment, again in my opinion, is that we don’t know. We are willing to give our time, which is the most valuable thing we can give, to this person because we believe in it. We don’t know, we believe. It is the faith of our life. It’s the destiny we can’t see but we feel.
So, the point of that article was to date with thoughts, ideas, questions on whether or not this person is the person you can marry, spend the rest of your life with. I did this for so long, where did it get me? It got me wishing that I had just turned my brain off for a little while and just enjoyed the moments I was in without worrying is this guy going to be a good father, is he going to provide, surprise me with breakfast in the mornings, massage my back after a long day, is he going to be this person 5 years from now..blah blah blah. Seriously it is all just a bunch of blah. A lot of blah kept me in relationships that I was no longer happy in. It is nothing compared to just being with someone and losing yourself in a love that might or might not last.
Now I could make a whole list, 1..2..3..4 and so on for why this is a good idea. But really that would be kind of against what I am trying to get across. Stop making lists. Stop thinking too much into it. Because really, you can think about it or not, but the outcome is going to be the same. If two people are meant to be together, they will. Love is not a strategic game where you have to plan your every move, it’s not Catan. Or at least it doesn’t have to be. It’s more of a game of chance, luck and fun. It’s a game with no real end and you don’t have to settle.
I’m also not saying this is for everyone. There are those people that need to think it all out and there is nothing at all wrong with that. Do what makes you happy. All I am trying to say, it’s okay to not be that person. Marriage does not equal happiness. It can, but it’s not the marriage that makes it happiness, it is the person. It’s not what they can do for you or what they can give you. It is them, everything they are.
So no matter which truly makes you happy, dating with or without intention I just ask one thing of you, be happy. In every moment, make the choices that makes you happy. Life is too short to be unhappy in any aspect. Live as if when you die your whole life will replay for you and you will have to watch it, your own movie where you are the star.
Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Whether they agree or disagree, this is definitely an idea that can have lots of different opinions. There are no wrong answers.