You’re a small child, put yourself back there. Who are you looking up to? Who is protecting you?
There are times I run across a song and it is much more than a song to me. It brings back memories. It brings up feelings I am always feeling, but this person somehow found the words that I wish I had found first to describe those feelings. You might not be able to relate to this one, but I do know there are a lot of people out there that can.
Keep the Wolves Away by Uncle Lucius. I know this song because of a very amazing human I know that covers it. It’s one of those songs I keep hitting previous over and over on car rides when it gets to the very end. I can’t help but want to go back to the beginning. There are times, we all just wish we could go back to the beginning.
For my personal story, I had a mom and dad that gave everything they had to provide for their kids. My dad worked crazy hours that seemed to always be changing and always getting longer. To quote this song, “Giving a little of his soul every day, making overtime to keep the wolves away.” & that he did, along with my mom and grandparents that were there every step of the way.
There wasn’t many basketball games or award ceremonies that he missed. He was overworked and underpaid at a big company that would never truly appreciate all he was doing. But honestly I don’t think he was doing it for them either, I don’t think it was his personal dream. But he had a bigger dream, and that was his family.
My mom was always there, taking us to practice, staying home with us when we were sick, always fighting to bring us up with good morals and strong hearts. And so much more. I can’t imagine her ever having much free time for her.
Even when I was younger, even if I didn’t show it, I knew that what my mom and dad were doing was always for us and it wasn’t always easy. They gave us everything we needed and a lot of what we wanted. I even got a car when I was 16, that I still have over 12 years later. I played any sport I wanted and joined any groups at school. Me and my siblings were always put first. I had an older brother and sister, technically half siblings but I never refer to them as that. I realize that they didn’t get the best version of our dad but I do know one thing, I saw how much he was trying to make up for that. I saw how much he had regrets, he even talked about it sometimes, which if you knew my dad that really meant something. He couldn’t wait for the weekends with them, and he was so proud of every one of his kids.
As we get older we truly start to see our childhood and growing up in a different light right? A brighter light? We realize how hard life can be, why our parents and elders always told us, “now don’t you rush growing up, it’s not all what it seems.” They were right. It is a beautiful life but it can be a hard life and you don’t always have that person to keep your wolves away.
For me, one of those left this world far too early. I needed him when my best friend passed away. I needed him when I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I needed him when I was heart broken. I needed him to be here when I found success, I needed him to see. But I didn’t have him. My dad left this world far too early. But I am so lucky to still have my mom and my granny, who was also such a huge part of my childhood and keeping those same wolves away.
Since I graduated high school, I have had a goal. That was to, first, be able to take care of myself, financially at least. Then, I wanted to be able to be the one to give back to my mom, my dad, my granny. I wanted to be able to help my family that needs it. Which on a teacher salary, haha. But, I still have that dream and the older I get the more I grow and learn. The more I see what it takes to get there, and I will. That’s why this song means so much to me, it puts into beautiful words what I have felt for so long.
I just hope those of you that had those parents, can see what it took, can forgive some things that might have happened for them to protect you from the wolves of the world. And I hope you realize when it is your turn to keep the wolves away. It may be for them, or it may be a pay it forward situation to either your family or those that surround you that need it most.
CWDAJH Three wolves in snow