“Hop on the World”

A song I have listened to on repeat lately is Hop on the World by Bob Schneider. It’s such a beautiful song, as simple as it is, I feel so connected to it. After looking it up on YouTube I couldn’t believe how little it has been seen! So, definitely check it out.

I also love videos like this one, real life. It didn’t take a lot of money to make, but it’s so relatable and beautiful.

“There’s so many people in the world, but no one quite like you.”

This line really gets me every time.

For those of you that have found that person, you know exactly what that means. Especially if you were at some point a person that did realize there are so many people in the world, so why stick with one?

That line, that’s exactly why. The fact that everyone is so different is exactly why it is so beautiful that you take a chance on that person that is exactly your combination of perfection. Hold on to them, hop on the world..and take a ride. 🙂

If you haven’t found that person, my biggest piece of advice would be to wait. If you can’t imagine yourself doing anything and everything with that person, if you can’t imagine conquering the world with that person then let them go.

I would love some music inspiration, of any type of genre! 🙂 Tell me your favorite song/a song that inspires you in the comments!

 

Plan B is Extinct

What is it you want more than anything?

What would you give to get it?

Would you give up an easier life? A life where you get by but always have that voice in the back of your head asking why you didn’t get off your butt and go for what you knew/know you truly want?

When we live knowing everything will be okay if our dream doesn’t work out, we get lazy. We put actions off that would help us reach our goal because we “have time” or we know that we will “make it by” even if it doesn’t happen.

For a lot of us it takes hitting rock bottom or even starting to sink into those rocks for us to rise above where we always wanted to be but never thought we could be. It takes our plan b’s and c’s and the whole alphabet being stolen away from us to go with the only plan we ever even cared about to begin with. We are human beings and the stronger of us do whatever it takes to survive.

But my challenge to you is that even if you have those plan b’s and c’s lingering around, forget them. Throw them away. They are the equivalent of getting to the end of our life, looking back and longing for more. And that day can be closer than any of us know.

One true story that comes to mind is that of J.K. Rowling who went from a single mother on welfare to becoming one of the richest women in the world by following her dreams. There are so many more stories like hers that might not always be about wealth but happiness, or both. In the end, the happiness is what will matter the most.

So, what is your plan A?

What are you going to do to reach the goal that it entails?

CAPABLEOF

capableofmug

Best Friends, Forever?

 

We all have heard the term of dating/marrying our best friend, right?

Honestly, isn’t that just the dream, and quite possibly the only relationships that last happily. Because you are truly with someone for who they are, so no matter what circumstances you come to you are going to figure them out. No matter if something changes for the worse for that person, you aren’t going to want to run away, you are going to want to be there even more.

But what does that mean?

What it means to me might not mean the same to you, but here are some of the things I think of when I am truly looking for my best friend. I would love to hear your ideas on what you look for!

So when I started thinking about these I started thinking about the things I look for in my “just friends.” Because those are the friends we are friends with unconditionally, without looking for anything in return. Here we go..

Their job doesn’t matter. Now in a way, maybe it does. In the sense of you want what their passions are to be something you want to spend time around. So, maybe I should say it doesn’t matter how much money they make. It doesn’t matter if they are in a job at the moment that they are trying to get out of because it’s not their dream job, but they are working on getting to that dream. I would rather be with someone with a job they are passionate about then making a lot of money and not being as happy. A lot of people will say, well it takes money to take care of a family. And this is very true. When you bring other lives into the equation it does seem to change it. But, you don’t, or I wouldn’t marry someone just to have kids with them, I am marrying them for them and knowing that they are my best friend. I know that together we can both do whatever it takes to make that family. That might mean me working harder. That is just something that you have to trust will work itself out when you choose the right person.

Looks. Now we all know by now there has to be a level of attraction, this is what takes them from being our “just friends” to more. I don’t necessarily believe that attraction is all based on the way they “look.” A lot of times I find myself saying, this person is not my type at all but I am still attracted to them. Maybe I get to know them and they become more attractive. Or possibly it is just the type of energy they give off when I am around them. My “type” is not the same as my friends’ types or other people’s. I think people mess up when they go looking for the person that is going to impress other people. The only person that should be impressed with who they are with, is that person. Every one else is just background opinions.

You laugh. There isn’t anything I can think of that I would want to do for the rest of my life then have someone I can laugh every day with. They don’t need to be a comedian, obviously. But there is no better feeling than finding someone that has your same sense of humor, when you laugh over things that probably seem so stupid to other people. You also laugh at yourselves and at each other. It’s okay to make fun of each other. Saying something “offensive” isn’t going to an argument, you laugh it off together.

Silence. You know you have a best friend when you can spend a lengthy amount of time together saying absolutely nothing but those times with them are still everything. You don’t need to say everything out loud. You don’t need to fill every moment of silence. It is enough to just be.

You fight. You get over it. Best friends fight. Siblings fight. Family fight. It’s a part of life, and the more you are around the same person, the more it is likely to happen. But when someone is truly your best friend, you fight. You talk it out. You get over it. It doesn’t come up two months later when you are in an argument about a topic completely irrelevant

You adventure. When you are with your best friend everything is an adventure. Sure, going on trips, daily get aways, trying new things, etc. But when you are with your best friend, you turn crazy, sometimes “bad/unexpected” situations into an adventure. You are happy no matter what is thrown your way and make the best of it.

So, there are many more I could go on about but those are the first that come to mind. I want to hear what you look for in a best friend!? Comment below my friends.

iwant

Feedback Needed

I, not long ago, watched a Netflix documentary called “Chasing Coral.”

I highly recommend it. Not only does it show the beauty this world holds, but also the beauty we are letting go. As humans, myself included, we too often get wrapped up in our own lives. Even the most selfless of us do it. What we forget is we would be nothing without the natural world that surrounds us.

I won’t go into all the details but the documentary goes into interesting and depressing facts of how our ocean water is lowering. With this, the coral reef is bleaching and dying. This beautiful life is diminishing, and the coral is just one of many problems our world is having.

Think about all the unnatural things that we now have in this world. How long our world has been around, what these things could be impacting. The amount of people with electricity, vehicles, trash, excess clothing, cleaners, excessive water use, plastic, electronics, the list could go on.

A lot of this we have heard growing up. We need to reuse, reduce, recycle. Save our environment. What are we going to do about it?

So my question is, what matters to you? What in this world is something that is worth saving? What are some things we can do to help? What can we as a “be a murwoman” community bring awareness to?

Also, I would love to know of some blogs that are dedicated to this sort of thing, helping our world, the issues we face, and how we, as individuals and groups, can help?

 

Here’s to You

I suppose this will be a good follow up to “Here’s to the Ones”, at least as far as the title goes. 🙂

But I just wanted to give a huge thank you virtual hug and love to everyone here. Everyone that reads. Everyone that follows. Everyone that is for spreading the positive vibes. Every human that is just out there doing their thing.

We hit over a hundred here on the blog a few days ago. I say we because this is truly for everyone. There have been questions, What is “be a murwoman?” So I’ll take this time to give a little info on a simple idea that I believe can have a huge impact.

Be a murwoman is all about a group of people who are all for humans. All for following their heart and dreams. It is directed toward women and accomplishing self love and spreading just as much love as ladies of the world. But that doesn’t mean that the idea doesn’t/can’t apply to every single person.

So, this might mean simply spreading love on the internet. Leave uplifting comments to women who are out there doing their thing like a girl boss. It’s about lifting the same women up when they are having their downs. Because it happens to all of us. It might be simply liking a photo to show your support. It’s spreading these words, positive words, whether it be a blog post, meme, poetry, etc.

It’s about bringing all of this outside of our internet bubble. Compliment a fellow female in the bar, in the grocery line, sitting beside you in class, a co worker, a friend, an enemy. It’s amazing how such a simple compliment can light up someone’s face, possibly turn their whole day around.

So, like I said a simple theory that needs to be spread and that is my goal. It is what I hope becomes your goal. Our goal. Together.

If you have any questions or if you feel you are supportive of “be a murwoman” I would love to hear from you in the comments!!

Here are some places you can find us.

IG: beamurwoman

FB: search “be a murwoman”

Find those two on the blog home page as well 🙂

FB Private Group for Ladies: search “be a murwoman” also

There is also a store if you want some physical evidence to spread words of love and inspiration. zazzle.com/themurmanstore
Some of the best sellers..

Here’s to the Ones

Would we be where we are today without the ones that put us down, didn’t believe in us, and shut us out when we needed them most?

Probably not. Honestly, they were probably the best experiences that happened to us. They taught us to be strong, to never give up. They helped us reach our dreams.

But, did they? There are a lot of people out there that would let these people convince them to give up. There are people that would let them get in their head in all the wrongs way. So really, it is not these people but how we choose to react to these people. It is how we want to deal with the negativity they throw. The moment we realize someone is a negative influence in our life, it is time to let them go. Let them be your fuel, burn every word and feeling and make it into an amazing smoke that fills your world and the world around you. Some of the greatest people that have made it have used every negative vibe others throw to push them to the top.

Are we going to lay in our bed and literally dream our dreams the rest of our lives? Or are we going to live them outside of our walls, showing the world all that we are capable of?

Be a murwoman, get out of your comfort zone. & when you get to the top and even on your journey there you can scream,

Here’s to the ones that didn’t believe in you..

nothing.

They deserve absolutely nothing.

 

Not your happiness, not your attention and not a moment of your time feeling bad because of them. Keep moving forward. Much love!

What’s your dream?? Say it out loud. Leave it in the comments! Whisper it to yourself, tell a friend. Make it real.

 

“Things.” (It’s better than the title)

 

I am Anonymous. I live in a classic, breath taking, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling type of home. House. It’s a house. It was the house I dreamed of. It was the back yard with palm trees I always wanted. In the sun it glistens, it reflects an idea of what I dreamed up long ago. At night the stars show it’s truth, their eyes are too scattered and immense to not see what truly hides in plain sight.

I paid for it. Not financially, my husband, the person I hate the most gives the most. But I gave more, I gave my life. Willingly. I was conscious for every decision. I was there to say I do, there to walk in and out of these doors just to walk back in at my own accord. I scream at my kids like they are the reason I am miserable, I don’t say those words, but they know. I can see it in their eyes, they look at me less and less every day. They will never know me. I don’t know me anymore.

They say in heaven there is a mansion with many rooms, I should have waited for the mansion that won’t be my choice.

But here I am, on the dying side of life. They say I can get out but they don’t know my mind, how many times I have walked out just to turn around before my hand gripped the steering wheel of a car I never have to drive.

I am a name that will never be known. I will fade away into all the “things” that were never really even here.

*Based on a true life story, some where out there.

womanrockingchair.jpg

 

This is here because of something my ex recently sent me, and that I have heard before and even before that. “Good luck finding someone who will treat you better.” Anyone else ever heard that?

Why do people feel the need to say that? Since when is the way someone treats you the reason to love them and stay with them. Maybe that is why I stayed with the wrong person too long. I mean there is always some type of love. But I will never make it in this life if I continuously choose someone because of how they treat me or what they can physically give me.

I want someone to give me more. I want someone to give me their mind and for me to accept it for all it is. I want someone to give me their heart and feel the need to protect it with all that I am. I want someone’s soul that can keep mine company for as long as they enjoy each other, hopefully sitting side by side in a rocking chair.

Like in the story above, the husband? He was a good guy. He did everything for her. Gave her everything. But the “things” that really mattered were never there.

I have asked myself a question for a very long time. The question is, would I rather be with someone that loves me more than I love them, or vice versa? Do I want to be the one to love more?

I have a friend that once proposed the theory that in a relationship there is always one person that cares/loves more. I believe this to be mostly true. Could there be exceptions? Sure. Always. But that leaves me with the same question for you, and really think about it because my answer now is different than it was 8 years ago. Also, keep in mind this isn’t a scenario like the story above where one is on the hate side of love. There is still love on both sides but just a visible difference in the depth. Would you rather be with someone that loves you more or someone that you love more?

I mean ultimately we all want to be with someone that there is no visible difference, of course. It is possible for every one of us to find that love in this life. BUT if you are in a crazy universe where you had to choose one or the other, what do you choose?

I hope you all find the soul that fits in the rocking chair beside you. Much love.

Love is Not Catan

 

I ran across an article the other day, “date with intention.” Honestly, I didn’t read it. I did skim it. But, I have read lots of articles like this before. And, yes, it’s great. If that is what you want and that’s what makes you happy. But I want you to take the time to think, is it really making me happy?

Whether you are in you 20s, 30s, 50s, or 70s, in my opinion, it is so ridiculous to date anyone that isn’t making you happy in that moment. Is the person that is making you happy in your 20s going to make you happy in your 60s? I have not idea, and let’s be honest..you have no idea either. If you think you do, then you are probably delusional which is only going to hurt you in the long run. The whole point of marriage and commitment, again in my opinion, is that we don’t know. We are willing to give our time, which is the most valuable thing we can give, to this person because we believe in it. We don’t know, we believe. It is the faith of our life. It’s the destiny we can’t see but we feel.

So, the point of that article was to date with thoughts, ideas, questions on whether or not this person is the person you can marry, spend the rest of your life with. I did this for so long, where did it get me? It got me wishing that I had just turned my brain off for a little while and just enjoyed the moments I was in without worrying is this guy going to be a good father, is he going to provide, surprise me with breakfast in the mornings, massage my back after a long day, is he going to be this person 5 years from now..blah blah blah. Seriously it is all just a bunch of blah. A lot of blah kept me in relationships that I was no longer happy in. It is nothing compared to just being with someone and losing yourself in a love that might or might not last.

Now I could make a whole list, 1..2..3..4 and so on for why this is a good idea. But really that would be kind of against what I am trying to get across. Stop making lists. Stop thinking too much into it. Because really, you can think about it or not, but the outcome is going to be the same. If two people are meant to be together, they will. Love is not a strategic game where you have to plan your every move, it’s not Catan. Or at least it doesn’t have to be. It’s more of a game of chance, luck and fun. It’s a game with no real end and you don’t have to settle.

I’m also not saying this is for everyone. There are those people that need to think it all out and there is nothing at all wrong with that. Do what makes you happy. All I am trying to say, it’s okay to not be that person. Marriage does not equal happiness. It can, but it’s not the marriage that makes it happiness, it is the person. It’s not what they can do for you or what they can give you. It is them, everything they are.

So no matter which truly makes you happy, dating with or without intention I just ask one thing of you, be happy. In every moment, make the choices that makes you happy. Life is too short to be unhappy in any aspect. Live as if when you die your whole life will replay for you and you will have to watch it, your own movie where you are the star.

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Whether they agree or disagree, this is definitely an idea that can have lots of different opinions. There are no wrong answers.

 

love

 

Keep the Wolves Away

You’re a small child, put yourself back there. Who are you looking up to? Who is protecting you?

There are times I run across a song and it is much more than a song to me. It brings back memories. It brings up feelings I am always feeling, but this person somehow found the words that I wish I had found first to describe those feelings. You might not be able to relate to this one, but I do know there are a lot of people out there that can.

Keep the Wolves Away by Uncle Lucius. I know this song because of a very amazing human I know that covers it. It’s one of those songs I keep hitting previous over and over on car rides when it gets to the very end. I can’t help but want to go back to the beginning. There are times, we all just wish we could go back to the beginning.

For my personal story, I had a mom and dad that gave everything they had to provide for their kids. My dad worked crazy hours that seemed to always be changing and always getting longer. To quote this song, “Giving a little of his soul every day, making overtime to keep the wolves away.” & that he did, along with my mom and grandparents that were there every step of the way.

There wasn’t many basketball games or award ceremonies that he missed. He was overworked and underpaid at a big company that would never truly appreciate all he was doing. But honestly I don’t think he was doing it for them either, I don’t think it was his personal dream. But he had a bigger dream, and that was his family.

My mom was always there, taking us to practice, staying home with us when we were sick, always fighting to bring us up with good morals and strong hearts. And so much more. I can’t imagine her ever having much free time for her.

Even when I was younger, even if I didn’t show it, I knew that what my mom and dad were doing was always for us and it wasn’t always easy. They gave us everything we needed and a lot of what we wanted. I even got a car when I was 16, that I still have over 12 years later. I played any sport I wanted and joined any groups at school. Me and my siblings were always put first. I had an older brother and sister, technically half siblings but I never refer to them as that. I realize that they didn’t get the best version of our dad but I do know one thing, I saw how much he was trying to make up for that. I saw how much he had regrets, he even talked about it sometimes, which if you knew my dad that really meant something. He couldn’t wait for the weekends with them, and he was so proud of every one of his kids.

As we get older we truly start to see our childhood and growing up in a different light right? A brighter light? We realize how hard life can be, why our parents and elders always told us, “now don’t you rush growing up, it’s not all what it seems.” They were right. It is a beautiful life but it can be a hard life and you don’t always have that person to keep your wolves away.

For me, one of those left this world far too early. I needed him when my best friend passed away. I needed him when I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I needed him when I was heart broken. I needed him to be here when I found success, I needed him to see. But I didn’t have him. My dad left this world far too early. But I am so lucky to still have my mom and my granny, who was also such a huge part of my childhood and keeping those same wolves away.

Since I graduated high school, I have had a goal. That was to, first, be able to take care of myself, financially at least. Then, I wanted to be able to be the one to give back to my mom, my dad, my granny. I wanted to be able to help my family that needs it. Which on a teacher salary, haha. But, I still have that dream and the older I get the more I grow and learn. The more I see what it takes to get there, and I will. That’s why this song means so much to me, it puts into beautiful words what I have felt for so long.

I just hope those of you that had those parents, can see what it took, can forgive some things that might have happened for them to protect you from the wolves of the world. And I hope you realize when it is your turn to keep the wolves away. It may be for them, or it may be a pay it forward situation to either your family or those that surround you that need it most.